without ink

in times like these, i wish my heart would speak. I find myself fumbling for the words to do my feelings justice, but no matter the amount of times i consult my thesaurus, pause to collect my thoughts, or make some futile attempt to artistically phrase a rush of emotions, my linguistics fail me. the only thing i can utter is ‘thank you,’ and even it seems inadequate.

As the beautifully painted leaves fall off the trees at the first signs of winter, I also observe such a remarkable season of my life coming to an end. A chapter is closing; a page is turning. My heart is heavy. Yet, my heart is full of gratitude for all of the love, kindness, and hospitality given freely these past several months. I am thankful for the many lessons, conversations, and personal growth ordained by God. I am thankful for an amazing job and living situation. But, I am most thankful for the body that I have experienced and been counted as an indispensible member of since arriving on the scene- one that works in harmony, lifting each other up in prayer and encouragement, spurring each other on in the faith, holding each other accountable, and being used as a conduit of the love that flows from the son’s hands.

I am so grateful for tears. When words do not suffice, the water pouring from my eyes tells the story of the manner in which i have been touched here in huntsville. Every tear that falls is a prayer offered to the greatest God for a period of restoration and retreat in my life. My breathing gets shallow and rapid when I think about how much He loves me…how He understands the entirety of my emotions without me having to utter a single word….how He has woven together a beautiful tapestry that I am only seeing a piece of. As I depart, the one with whom I am deeply in love, goes both before and behind me. Crying and exhausted, I cling to His neck. And He carries me.