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It’s a winter day. This statement is less than an evaluation of the chill that has set in to north Texas and more like a reference to what is perceived by the little girl peering out into the world. Today, I am fighting the cold, bleak, weary, uninviting, discouraging, winter. And I want to stay right next to my heater instead of going outside because it’s way scarier when security and comfort are unaccounted for. And are unable to be guaranteed.
Some things I miss about the Midwest are the distinct seasons. But a week or so at home during the months of December to February remind me that I’m in no hurry to relocate from the sunny south. The seasons provide, in many ways, a great illustration of life. They are restless, always progressing from one to another much like we ourselves rarely stand in one place for too long…perhaps hoping to settle into an ideal set of circumstances but never quite finding our expectations entirely realized. There is certainly beauty in winter, but it is much harder to observe for the person who, in a spirit of vulnerability, endures the frigid elements, the pain of frostbite, and the cold that penetrates all the way to one’s heart. But, the beauty of growth can only have its full effect when one puts himself in a position to identify with the winter landscape- stripped bear, weighed down, and reliant on a different substance of life for sustenance throughout the arduous season, however long it may be. Then, the life that truly carries along the windblown, tattered, and tired scenery shows itself in a mighty way when signs of spring emerge.
I am a work in progress. Certain days I feel in full bloom and, others, feel like I have nothing to offer the world. However, although winter days are harsh, I can rejoice in them knowing that they are reminders of my brevity, my susceptibility, my humanity. And although these reminders often hit right at my pride and cause me moments of despair as I frantically attempt to restore my bruised self-sufficiency, I turn again to the only true source of Life.
sustain me, jesus. you are my only hope for survival.
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